Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Lonliness of the Long Seeing Politico Goth

[This is a personal post, if you want to know the thinking behind the Blogger, keep reading.  However, this deals with some internal Soul and Heart issues.  Curious? Read on! If you are not interested, read the next post. Thank you for enjoying the Valley -- JSF]

Neil Gaiman's Sandman -- Dream (L) and Death (R) 

If you read the Valley consistently, I'm sure you figured out that I'm a Goth, a Politico and a writer (Topped off with a bit of the genius/madness gene) -- so internal drama is my life.

Lately, in this Summer of Ra (as I jokingly call it), I told my friends that I will be taking a small break from the Goth scene for a month or so.  This post fleshes out that reason.

It has nothing to do with the music or the prices, just some "Internal Drama,"

At my last trip to Ruin, it seemed as if there was a reverse musical chairs that had stopped.  Most people (especially some of the Muses whom I liked) had settled in with partners for the summer.  Others are married or engaged, and as a BIG believer in Karma, I will never break those bonds -- my own honor system forbids it.  As the music ended, I felt on the outs.

This year, I was infatuated with someone I'd call a Chasing Amy situation.  (Think of the Kevin Smith movie.) She has all the qualities I like in a Muse, smart, beautiful and pragmatic about politics.  I don't care about her day job (suffice to say, NSFW here), because I respect her.  I'm a Social Libertarian, as long as everyone is adult and consenting, I don't care (nor should Government).

As long as I'm couch surfing throughout the basin (and waiting to start work at the CRP), it's hard to build anything lasting.  In this Summer of Ra, I cannot go around the basin and interview people for my book until the brakes and a/c are fixed (Hit the Tip jar if you can).  I've already decorated my future apartment, I just need to get the finances for one.  Since I'm somewhat Old fashioned (Goth and Blogger, not so much Old School), I believe in having the job and apartment first before I have the wife and child.  

But I can still look for a short (very short) term relationship or longer, whatever happens.  Life without a Muse makes it hard to write.

As a writer, I believe in putting the words out into the Universe of what I want, and maybe it will come to pass.  Trust me, the work I did on the Southland Fundraiser opened many doors, same rule applies here.

So, what does JSF look for in a Girlfriend and/or Wife?

1)  Smarts -- I cannot date someone who I cannot have a conversation with.

2)  Loves to smile -- Life is a happy journey, we all have our ups and downs, but whereas I remain a cynic, I need a Yin to my Yang.

3) Pragmatic when it comes to Politics and Policy -- Think James Carville and Mary Matalin; They understand how to get votes in the Country (or in my case: Los Angeles and California) and on Capitol Hill.  Idealists scare me.  One issue idealists scare me even more.  A pragmatist would understand "The Great Game," (as I call it) and understand the professionalism behind it.

4) An independent life -- I believe women can do anything or everything (Hence my support of Palin); And I can't stand clinging.  So, if she has her own business' or interests, more power to her!

5) Worldly -- A Muse who understands the world; One can be a Provincial and worldly at the same time.  Think of Return of the Native in Los Angeles (without the sad ending).

6)  An Artist and Lover of Art  -- In the Land of Creatives (and as a Creative myself), I hope to meet someone who can do some type of Art.  Paint, draw, write, sculpt, whatever -- Artists are awesome.  And I enjoy going to museums (and looking for the Eugene Delacroix paintings); It's cooler to have someone to enjoy it with.

7)  A Politico Girl who can Go Goth or a Goth Girl who Be Political -- As the ONLY Californian Conservative Republican, Social Libertarian, Appropriations Policy Understanding, Jewish, Goth Activist (TM), yeah someone who can dance in the dark is a plus.

And the way to a good marriage is to have a good friendship (my parents were married for a long time, I saw the whys and hows they succeeded).

OK, I'm feeling better -- back to the Political world. 

And now some lyrics to one of the songs I dance to, ever looking for a Muse:

I thought that I knew it all
I'd seen all the signs before.
I thought that you were the one
In darkness my heart was won.

You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.

You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now I'm serving time in a domestic graveyard.
I don't believe you anymore ... I don't believe you.

Never let it be said I was untrue
I never found a home inside of you.
Never let it be said I was untrue
I gave you all my time.
Enjoy the song!
Dead can Dance, The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove  

My question: What makes a good relationship?

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