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People who know me felt a "disturbance in the force," two days ago. It was felt by Malcot in Michigan and a friend in New York.
I touched on the issue briefly on this post. So, here I go, dropping the fourth wall again.
However, there were two triggers for the low-level depression (now upped a notch), I am going through:
1) Going to the Leadership Institute Broadcast Journalism Class -- I realize I don't want to be a TV reporter, but then I realize, I should be more than what I am right now.
2) I bought Southland Tales. Somehow in all the mess is a trigger for something about me. What? I don't know.
I am the type of person who believes in trade. I help, you help me. Oldest Political law in the book. (And learned from both the Tammany and Queens Political Machines, and also among the National Republicans) If I step up in a situation, I would like help getting to my goals. If that is not the case, I believe that I should be able to Help me Help myself towards the goal. Either way, makes me a better person. But neither is happening.
Both professional and non-professional people are saying to stay away from writing both books and the Blog. I want to change the world, but I need a leg up on changing myself.
Unfortunately, I am in a bad place right now. Talking about politics is a distraction, for now. I hope to be back up by next week. As long as the medium-level stays at that point.
I live, but right now, I don't feel alive. My goals (and my endgame) seem too far away. My situation is unenviable, and I'm feeling very lonely in my quest. As I said, not a good place.
I am available for incoming comments and calls, just there is very few outgoing right now. Here is song I'm humming right now:
Remember the first rule of politics (which is unused by the California Republicans and other Californians), I help you, you help me. That is a founding principle, and seems to have been long ago forgotten.
JSF, I hate seeing a friend down in the dumps. Whether you want to go into broadcast journalism or not, taking a seminar is definitely a step in the right direction, even if it tells you what you don't want to do. My wife is starting taking classes for the first time in years to try to build some new skills too, and as she's waiting for it to start there is a small degree of anxiety toward it. Change can be scary, even if it's change for the better. Just remember that it's a positive thing and you should be proud of taking that first step.
ReplyDeleteFor your second trigger, it's obvious. Get yourself a quick shot of fluid karma and remember, you've got soul but you're not a soldier. For help figuring out the mess, the bastion of liberal media on the web, Salon.com, has created this handy guide which they've done for other convoluted films like Donnie Darko and Mulholland Drive.
You should be humming concrete blond instead my darling. Stand your own ground and do what you have to do. It will all be OK. I'm sending you a wing, a prayer, and lots of love. Remember what I told you the other day. I mean it in all sincerity. Your force is strong with me, as you well know after these many election cycles we have been through. Trust yourself, no one else can really say what is or isn't good for you. Do what you have to do, I'll be here when you need me, or when you get back. As I told you months ago the world is a cold place, there are very few people we can turn to. You're my best friend, and I want you to know that I really respect your insight. I'm glad you learned you don't want to be a TV guy, you can do some other stuff. There's many ways to change the world. Sometimes every step you take on the journey changes it and has a ripple effect I think it was Ghandi who said that you must be the change you wish to see the world. I know you can do that, you do do that. You're an amazing man, and you'll pull through this. In the morning you'll shine on...Shalom dear motek, to you this day and every other.
ReplyDeleteI know my friend you are in a dark place right now but be assured that where darkness rests so to does light.
ReplyDeleteMy friend we your friends we will be hear to help you on your journey when you have need but, only you truly know what your needs are and where your path lies.
I firmly hope and believe that you will emerge stronger, wiser and more resilient.
I will kep you in my prayers my friend.
JSF, I'm sorry to hear that you're at this impasse. Many bloggers need a break from time to time. I'm sure you'll be able to see what to do once the smoke's cleared. Stay well and if you have a spare minute, feel free to drop me an email.
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